


Last Saturday Night

by wintersyzygy



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bickering, Fluff, Future Fic, Gift Fic, Humor, M/M, Making Out, Morning Kisses, Multi, No such thing as morning breath, Read for the laughs, Slightly crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:06:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersyzygy/pseuds/wintersyzygy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: 'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us.’</p><p>Cue dorkiness, crackish attempts at escape and a (somewhat) fluffy making out scene... not necessarily in that order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Saturday Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [staricicle89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/staricicle89/gifts).



> I apologise for nothing. And everything.
> 
> And for staricicle89: Happy Birthday!! I tried with the crack and the side ship. I really did.

The first thing that came out of Aomine’s mouth when he woke up was “fuck”. Since he felt like that was far from enough to express the pain that was the pounding in his head, he repeated the word a few more times to reiterate his point. After _that_ had lost all therapeutic effect, he moved on to burrowing deeper into the very soft, very comfortable sheets.

Hell, this might just be the most comfortable bed Aomine had ever slept in. He was content to just lie down and ignore the harsh morning light even if his clothes were missing, his head hurt and certain parts of his body felt suspiciously stiff and sore. Last night must have been great. _Especially_ if all he remembered of it were neon lights, drinks… and some very familiar faces.

Aomine paused – that last part was actually kind of troubling.

“Are you quite done?” A male voice asked dryly.

Aomine tensed up reflexively, relaxing only when he turned to his side and saw its owner, who had evidently been unimpressed with his wake-up call. Yes, let it be known that Kagami Taiga was currently attempting to bury his head under his pillow in all of his naked glory.

“Oh, it’s you.” Aomine said, wrapping an arm over his sort-of partner’s behind to pull him closer.

“Speak softer.” Kagami shifted with a slight grumble. “What, were you hoping for someone else?”  

“Nah.” Aomine mumbled before leaning over to nibble on Kagami’s ear. He adjusted his position, making it easier for himself to leave a trail of small sucks and nibbles down Kagami’s neck. He smelt like booze. They both did, probably.

“Are you still drunk?” Kagami asked, hoping that Aomine hadn’t noticed the smallest tint of red that had appeared on his cheeks. He still marvelled at how their morning-afters had evolved from awkward silences to throwing things at each other to _this,_ whatever this was.

Aomine chose not to reply, instead lightly sinking his teeth into a hickey that he’d found. Kagami’s eyes snapped open at that, and he was sure that it was going to leave a ridiculously dark mark that everyone would question… again. He also realised that he was now wide-awake; damn his evil bed-sharer.

“Fine, have it your way.” Kagami groaned – whether from Aomine’s mouth on his neck or from his headache, neither of them knew, but Aomine would take any encouragement that he could get. Besides, there was no way he’d ever complain about Kagami’s hands making their existence known to him in some of the best ways possible. One of his hands trailed across Aomine’s necks and shoulder lightly; the other snaked around his waist and roughly squeezed his ass.

Aomine paused in his ministrations to snicker. “I remember you being a lot more prudish than this when I first met you.”

“We were _sixteen_.” Kagami said, looking slightly annoyed from Aomine’s lull in action. “And you were a jerk."

“Says the sore loser.” Aomine smirked, earning himself a harsh tug on the roots of his hair.

“Really? I remember beating you.” Kagami scoffed as Aomine childishly returned the favour, although he found it quite hard to maintain the pseudo-hostility when Aomine’s hands were wandering across his chest and their legs were tangled together.  

“Not after that one time.” Aomine insisted, and the look on his face _might_ have just passed off as innocent, if it weren’t for that devilish gleam that accompanied his way less than innocent actions.

“There must be something wrong with your memory-”

At that point, Aomine decided that there was too much talking and not enough action. So, he moved himself over Kagami, effectively straddling him, and captured his lips in a kiss. It was more teeth than anything, sadly, but that was quickly fixed when Kagami angled his head upward. Yeah, _that_ worked a lot better. Aomine made quick work of invading Kagami’s mouth, and then after that it was just a blur of tongue and teeth and grunts. Their hands were _everywhere_ , be it tangled in hair, caressing the other’s back, or pulling and pushing each other into a tight, crushing embrace. It was all very messy and overwhelming – just the way they liked it.

When they were more or less breathless, Kagami took the chance to twist them both around, until they were both lying on their sides again.

They both winced at the sudden movement.

All right, things would have been a lot better and comfortable if it weren’t for the fact that apparently, their bodies were paying for whatever it was they’d done last night. And normally, they’d be moving onto other things by now, but-

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe we should stop.” Kagami said, his voice was hoarse, which turned Aomine on, but _damn,_ the ache.

“…Yeah.”

Kagami raised an eyebrow in slight surprise. “You too?”

Aomine shot the man a half-hearted glare. “Yes.”

There was silence for a few seconds as they rolled away from each other and wondered what kind of wild night they must have had. And then, just because they were a mess and maybe it wasn’t really funny but it kind of _was_ , they both laughed.

“You should have told me that you moved.” Kagami said, albeit slightly breathlessly, as he inspected the furniture next to him. “Didn’t think you could afford such a big bed. Actually, the whole place is a lot nicer than mine.”

“Huh?” Aomine rubbed his head, looking somewhat confused but satisfied at the same time. Or maybe, that was just from the great if very incomplete making out session they’d just had.

“Especially the minibar,” Kagami continued, smirking slightly as he peered into the glass. “Though I’m not even surprised you’ve a whole stock of flavoured lube."

Aomine shot up from the bed, all traces of laziness gone as he processed Kagami’s words. “I have a minibar stocked with lube _next to my bed_?" 

“Yes? Did you hit your head?” Kagami’s weak laughter quickly died off as Aomine leapt off the bed and stared at it with a look that was somewhat reminiscent of how he might have looked if some world authority announced that basketball was to be banned forever. 

“Do you remember anything that we did last night? Any faces?” Aomine asked with growing desperation.

Kagami mutely shook his head, and they just stared at each other with matching wide-eyed looks of horror.

“This isn’t your place?” Kagami spluttered.

Aomine groaned. “I thought it was yours.”

And then, “Fuck, we used someone else’s lube last night?”

Well, at least this was a major turn-off, but for two sore and hungover men in the morning, this was unwelcome excitement.

They promptly gathered their clothes from the floor and got dressed in record time, fumbling with buttons and zips yet managing somehow. They deserved an award, really. Kagami paused, letting out a sigh of relief when he found no dried up vomit anywhere on his clothes. (Yeah, that hadn’t been a fun experience.) They did reek of liquor and smoke, but there was no time to be concerned about that.

Aomine quickly ran to the door with Kagami right at his heels, and they were all for sprinting out of the room and out of the house and preferably, out of the street and maybe even town, when they heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps. The sad thing was: the sound was growing progressively louder. 

Doing what any rational being would do when they were illegally trespassing and their only hope was dashed, Aomine locked the door and sank into a position of defeat on the floor.

Kagami was quite ready to jump out off the balcony at this point. On the other hand, he didn’t really want to die yet. He pinched the skin on his arm, but sadly, it failed to release him from whatever nightmare he must currently be stuck in.

“Is this a hotel?” Kagami asked-whispered, looking around at the posh room, his thoughts racing. Yeah, it was nice enough to be a hotel room. Padded walls, nice abstract painting, minibars – and there was a desk in a corner, and an en-suite bathroom. It could be, right? Shit, a fancy western-style room like this must have cost a bomb too. But it would be way less awkward than-

“What kind of hotel provides _lube_?”

Kagami shot Aomine a pointed look. Aomine was suddenly assaulted with certain memories involving a rather dodgy establishment with an overly interested and _encouraging_ manager. He shuddered.

“ _Fine_ , what kind of _fancy_ hotel would?” Aomine amended his question. “Besides, there’s no room number on the door!”

 Right. That smashed that theory. Kagami was reduced to pacing at the rightmost wall of the room.

“How did we even break into a house when we were drunk?” Aomine groaned softly.

“How would I know?” He replied, leaning against the wall. He went through more scenarios in his head. What could be considered a legitimate reason…?

…

“You’re a cop.” Kagami said.

Aomine made a face that suggested that Kagami was extremely dense, which Kagami didn’t quite appreciate. Unfortunately, punching him in the face right there and then would be loud and would most likely attract unwanted attention, so he suppressed the urge.

“Can’t you just pretend that you were searching the house for a drug tip-off?” Kagami suggested.

“I’ve no search warrant, idiot.” Aomine replied, although he sounded very, very sad about it.

Neither of them pointed out that Aomine would be a very, very bad cop if he’d done that anyway. But there was no harm planning their escape route in desperate circumstances, right?

“Okay, we’re three storeys high, but this big tree over here is quite close and I think we should be able to make the leap.” Kagami opened the sliding door to the balcony. “The railing is wide enough and it’s not that slippery…”

Almost immediately, a flash of lightning appeared, followed by some ominous thunder rumbling. The droplets of rain came soon after, and all too soon, it had morphed into a torrential downpour. The tree they’d been planning to climb down swayed violently from what had to be a very strong gust of wind.

Kagami immediately ran back in and slid the door shut.

The two of them then spent a few quiet moments gawking.

“Do you think a divine entity decided to trap us inside this place for the rest of our lives?” Aomine asked in hushed tones.

“Don’t be stupid.” Kagami blurted out immediately, and Aomine seemed somewhat convinced, if not at all mollified.

“Well, guess that’s out now anyway.” Aomine said from his position on the floor. “Not that everyone has so much practice climbing in and out of balconies.”

“Oi, stop making it sound like I do it regularly.” Kagami said.

“You do.” Aomine smirked.

“It’s my job!”

Aomine suddenly looked thoughtful, which in Kagami’s opinion, was a rather disturbing look on him. “Maybe… you got a fire alert?”

Kagami sighed. “I’m not in uniform. And we _look_ like we’ve been fucking anyway.”

“Should have remembered that before you asked me then.” Aomine grumbled while he massaged his head.

“There's such a thing as plainclothes-”

They heard the sound of a kettle whistling, followed by a few voices – and then, two loud knocks on the door.

Both of them promptly shut their mouths and eyed the door. 

“Unlock the door!” A baritone voice called out, followed by a smoother tenor voice that also sounded kind of familiar, but they couldn’t really hear anything clearly thanks to the thick walls and wooden door. 

 “-maybe you should just hit them with that?” A third voice loudly suggested. 

Okay. _That_ , they’d definitely heard. Aomine and Kagami shot alarmed looks at each other. Shit. Maybe they had really been kidnapped after all, even if it was by humans instead of ghosts or anything like that. 

They couldn’t really hear what the first two replied to that, but better safe than sorry, right? Aomine quickly grabbed the bottle of lube that had been placed on top of the minibar as a weapon, while Kagami picked up a paperweight that looked considerably more deadly.

Both of them looked at their partner’s chosen weapon with an expression that could indicate either contempt, or constipation.

“We can’t attack him with that yet,” Aomine hissed. “Only if he’s hostile, then you throw that. Otherwise, we can’t plead self-defence.”

“Yes, cop.” Kagami rolled his eyes. “Like _that_ thing you're holding would be any use if they were.”

Then, they both heard the characteristic jingling sound of a chain of keys being rifled through.

“If anything happens, just know that I’m really glad that I met you.” Aomine whispered, moving closer to Kagami as they readied themselves at the edge of the doorway.

“Me too,” Kagami paused. “Except for the time you ruined my kitchen, and when-”

The door swung open.

Aomine threw the bottle of lube at the intruder immediately.

…

“…Midorima?”

Even with months of not having seen the man in person, there was no mistaking the green hair, the green eyes, the bandages wrapped around his fingers… and the plastic Rilakkuma bat that he’d somehow successfully used to hit the lube that had been thrown at him onto the floor.

Kagami set down the metal paperweight he’d been holding back onto the desk guiltily, hoping the taller man hadn’t noticed.

The three of them just stared at each other, before Aomine decided to break the silence by laughing like a madman. “Fuck, you gave us the scare of our lives. Why didn’t you just tell us it was you? Then we wouldn’t have needed to consider climbing out the window. And, _what_ is with that bat?” 

“…I knew this was a bad idea.” Midorima just sighed as if he had no idea what he was doing with his life. Kagami found it somewhat worrying that he seemed to be accepting having items of questionable nature thrown at him as if it were a regular occurrence.

“Is this your house?” Aomine continued with the barrage of questions that reminded Kagami of Kise… then suddenly stopped. Kagami nudged Aomine a little to the left so that he could look out of the doorway, and immediately understood.

There were a few individuals that should not be trifled with, and whether the more sadistic half of his personality had mellowed out or not, Akashi Seijuurou was one of them.

“Why so curious, Daiki?” Akashi all but purred.

“We were just wondering!” Aomine said rather lamely. Akashi raised an eyebrow, but luckily, he didn’t seem all that interested anyway.

“If either of you had bothered to enter the bathroom to freshen up, you would have known.” Midorima chose that moment to add.

This time, both Aomine and Kagami gulped at the pair of heterochromatic eyes boring into them with their silent accusation.

While Aomine wondered why everyone seemed to be fully dressed even though it was a weekend morning, Kagami pondered over how exactly the two of them had even got themselves into this situation. 

Before either of them could voice their queries, the third voice that had suggested Midorima hit them with his Rilakkuma bat piped up again from somewhere outside. “Do any of you feel like pancakes today?”

“The normal kind would be fine, Kazunari.” Akashi shot the bottle of lube on the floor an amused look as he rounded a corner and disappeared from their line of sight.

“Uh.” Kagami said eloquently. He picked up the offending bottle and tossed it somewhere behind him, where it landed with a crash and promptly spilt its contents.

Kagami was mortified, Aomine was very much amused, and Midorima just looked torn between those two options and a third of killing them. Aomine made a mental note to remove Midorima from Akashi’s influence. Or even more preferably, _he_ should just avoid all of them.

“Since it’s raining, the two of you may stay for breakfast. “ Midorima sighed (again), while somehow making the invitation sound more like a threat. “But for goodness’ sake, please clean up first. Both yourselves… and the floor.”

He then unceremoniously slammed the door in Aomine’s and Kagami’s faces, while the two of them pondered the ups-and-downs of what might have otherwise been a totally normal Sunday morning, in a kinder world.

“Why does it seem like the three of them have been living in the same house for a long time?” Kagami asked, staring at the door suspiciously. He then turned his neck so fast he almost got whiplash to look at the minibar, which he now regarded with horror.

“I don’t want to know.” Aomine groaned, covering his eyes as if it might help, before he brightened up considerably. “Hey, want to join me in the shower?”

Kagami shrugged, which was apparently a sign of acceptance, because he found himself being dragged into a rather fancy bathroom. He resolved that none of this was actually happening anyway, and it was all just a really strange dream that he was having.

(Also, he could live with not knowing the story of how the two of them ended up in the apartment.)

All in all, joining Aomine in the shower suited him perfectly well.  

**Author's Note:**

> Dodgy ending is dodgy, but I wanted to take a break from planning doomsday scenarios for the basketball idiots, and this is how it turned out xD
> 
> If there's interest, I might consider writing a sequel to this, explaining what actually happened the night before... /inserts warning for possible crack/
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it for some strange reason or other!


End file.
